We love the graphics at this Korean food market in Bangkok…

Spotted in a guestbook at a temple in greater BKK!

Thailand’s association with the sex trade is well documented: it has been estimated that 10 percent of tourist dollars spent in the country support this. It is also well known that transvestites are common here—it became international news when a school in Northeast Thailand installed a bathroom for transgender students, of which it estimated 200 of its 2,600 students were.

While prostitution used to be (and still is) solicited on the streets of Bangkok, the digital era has allowed these connections to happen virtually as well. Visitors to Thailand often arrange escapades with escorts before they arrive, or in some cases, just arrange to marry their “mail order bride” and come to swoop her away. I find these men both pretty much disgusting and pretty easy to spot in the Suvarnabhumi Airport immigration hall—based strictly on appearance and the look on their faces.

But I digress, this post is supposed to be funny. See, after you get through that immigration line and walk into the arrivals hall, you may have to pick your jaw up off the floor at the sight of the beautiful women waiting there. In many cases, these women are dressed up as if heading to a club—heavy makeup, tall stilettos, tight dresses—and waiting for their special (mostly pre-arranged) boo to walk through those doors.

The question I’ve always had is, how many of these were actually born as women? And how many of the guys who fly 6,000 miles to see them ever find out—or care?

Now that I’ve been through Suvarnabhumi several times, I believe I have discovered a little trick to be able to tell. See, most Thai women are fairly petite—this is not the Netherlands and there aren’t too many women approaching 6 feet, or 2 meters, here. Also, most petite women also have petite feet, and this is where I scratch my head a bit.

See, the “women” who appear to be most done up, dressed sexiest and, quite frankly, the most strikingly beautiful—they are the most likely to have once been men. Look down at the feet, and if the whole package says “woman” and then the shoes are size 44, you may want to think twice. Unless, of course, that’s your thing.

Bangkok Airport–Full of Smiles

The walk to BKK Arrivals…the last steps before a surprise?

Scene of some interesting exchanges

Asian household!

So you want to see the latest blockbuster. You’ve read the reviews, watched the previews, and stood in line early to get tickets to the opening show. Showtime as arrived, and you’re ready to go…but you better pay homage to the King, first!

That’s right. Before the film begins, there’s a video tribute to the Thai King, during which everyone in the audience is required to stand up and pay respects. I’ve seen this at sporting events before, well, national anthems anyway, but at recorded films? It was truly unique and interesting. The video itself features some “highlights” of the King spreading his good cheer, with a love song-style soundtrack in the background

Regardless of whether you’re a fan of Rama IX, however (and you better be, as making fun of the King can land you in prison), nobody can complain about the cost of moviegoing. A prime time show in a prime time theatre will only set you back about 4 USD. That leaves plenty for popcorn!

Take a walk around any big city, London to New York to Narnia, and you’ll see that street food is all the rage these days. Never mind the fact that people around the world have been eating out of carts for centuries; when white people in places like Austin start to take note of its “charm” and willingly fork over $10 for a taco, you know street food has arrived. Sadly, they can try every one of those $10-a-plate carts in every city in America, and they’ll never find anything as good as what can be had for a tiny fraction of that price on the streets of Bangkok.

Thailand is notorious for street food, as it suits the local culture in so many ways. First, Thai people generally don’t eat three square meals a day, instead preferring to have many more small meals. Second, these are a social people, generally preferring to meet outside rather than staying in the home. And finally, Thais are sticklers for cleanliness—obviously an important factor when eating a few meters away from speeding motorcycles and trucks.

Furthermore, you can find just about anything on the streets here, though there’s a good bet that it will have undertones of fish sauce and red chilies. Given the international nature of Thailand and its cuisines, the mixture of culinary traditions from throughout Asia and even the Middle East leaves room for plenty of creative concoctions.

While small dishes rule the roost, my personal favorites are larger meals, often cooked up on the sidewalks of regular restaurants after they are closed for business for the day. Picture anything you’ve ever ordered at your local Thai restaurant (except for pad thai, which of course seems targeted more towards unsuspecting white people), and it is available here in abundance, with only fresh, local ingredients, for about $2 USD.

Street food here is neither boutique-trendy nor low-quality. It’s just a normal part of the local food culture, and you’re stomach will probably be best suited here if you never set food inside an actual restaurant.