There is a common belief that a bitter rivalry exists between French people and Americans. Having spent a significant amount of time in France, I know this is vastly overblown—sure, there are a few folks here and there who don’t like each other—but generally speaking if either party approaches the other respectfully, they will be treated respectfully in turn.

In cases where this is true, however, it is highly likely that an American visitor approached the French person, in France, addressing them immediately in English. While this is acceptable (and in some cases even desirable) behavior in some parts of Europe, making no effort to learn even a few basic pleasantries is probably the average French person’s No. 1 beef against Americans.

It’s not hard to learn your pleases, thank yous, excuse mes and good mornings. So if you want to make your time in France more enjoyable, commit a few to memory, practice some pronunciation, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how easily it is to interact with locals here. They may not like to admit it, but many French people speak at least basic English, which makes sense given the importance of tourism to the country’s economy and it’s close economic links to England. But you’ll probably never learn the extent of their English skills unless you can start your approach with a word in French.

When you are riding the Metro in Paris, this is the warning you get to keep your fingers out of the door…

One of the joys of spending time in France, and indeed one of the very staples of French culture, is to spend your afternoons sitting in a café, sipping on a coffee, in the company of friends or at least a good book. If you want the full experience, add a semi-rude waiter to that equation.

You see, as charming as its cafes are, and as much of a premium as French culture places on gastronomy, service is not typically considered one of its strong points. If you know this going in, you can actually find the lack of service charming.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your experience:

1. If you’re on a tight schedule, take your drink to go:  Dining in French cafes or restaurants can be painfully slow at times. Don’t complain, just expect it and look at it as if you’re sitting in a theatre people watching.
2. Don’t order café au lait:  You want to impress the waiter with your knowledge of French, but in this country, that drink is enjoyed in the morning, at home, from a bowl. You’re probably thinking of a café crème instead.
3. Say your s’il vous plaits:   Manners are a must in France. Whatever you order, follow it with s’il vous plait.
4. Don’t talk back:  If you’re asked “how was it”, simply reply “tres bien”. If you didn’t like it, he doesn’t care, and surely isn’t going to do anything about it.
5. Keep the tip:  Part of the reason French waiters don’t have to be polite is that they aren’t dependent on tips. If you do get lucky and have a pleasant server, rounding up to the nearest euro or leaving a few euros on the table is more than enough reward.
6. Use all your senses:  Make sure to enjoy all of the sights, sounds and smells from the world surrounding you!

A warm feeling from the Paris streets to get your 2013 started right…

It is of little wonder, that old stereotype about the French having a general disdain for Americans, when you consider that for years we simply cannot, will not, and have not even attempted to pronounce even their name correctly.  How would you feel if you were a young Chopin, cooking up masterpieces on the keys, and people butchered your name like a sous chef chopping vegetables?  Or keeping on that composer theme, a young Samuel Scheidt?  I won’t even go there.

Say it with me, my peeps: Fraaaaaahhhnce.

France is sexy.  Maybe you have to feel sexy before your American-trained tongue can say it right…so set that ambience.  It’s just a little nuance.  No need for a séance, you just have to mentally go to France!  So say it with me…Fraaaaaahhhhhnce.  We can write it in whatever fonts you like.  Get it wrong and be ready for some serious taunts.

I hope you didn’t say “Freance”, or I won’t give you another chance.  Go to a discotheque in Oberkampt and you’ll see a bunch of rhythmically-challenged Frenchmen dancing like they have ants in their pants, not a pretty sight.  So why should it rhyme?  When in France, there’s no need for pants at all—we’re going for sexy, remember?

So just remember….ambience.  Get a positive response…

Fraaaaaaaaahhhnce. 

Fraaaaaaaanhhce.

Fraaaaaaahnce.

Fraaaahnce.

Fraaance.

France.

Let’s go!

One of the more interesting theatre graphics I’ve seen…

Monday, 10 June 2002; 6:51am; Paris-Gare de l’Est

Gare de l’Est

My Initial Descent came via the rails, arriving into Gare de l’Est after an overnight train from Switzerland. Of course I had expected to be greeted with the typical disdain for Americans that is so widely thought to be prevalent in France, but I didn’t find this to be true at all. “Excusez-moi…parlez-vous anglais?” I asked the person at the information counter at the station, as I needed some guidance getting to where I was going.

“Yes, a little bit”, she replied, and I knew immediately that the stereotypes were myth. The French don’t have disdain for Americans, just Americans who show up in France without a shred of respect for the local culture and who fail to make even a sorry attempted to learn a few words of French. Learn a few phrases, and you’ll be welcomed as warmly as anywhere else.

A few hours later, I had my first “I’m really in France” moment, sitting in the hallowed halls of Notre Dame cathedral, before the tourist crowds arrived. Taking in a morning prayer with people to whom this is a part of their daily lives, I couldn’t help but think that this we do not have a home…