My ID: 26 December 1986 into San Francisco International

United Airlines (flight number unknown)

IDing into SFO

My Initial Descent into the West Coast came on a post-Christmas family vacation at the tender age of 7. We flew to San Francisco—my first long plane ride—and my first several hours on the West Coast were spent trying to make my ears un-pop from the airplane. I tried holding my breath, sneezing, chewing gum…nothing seemed to work.

A few hours after MyID; ears still clogged

Within a few hours, I had seen my first palm tree and my first sunset over a body of water. A few days later, we drove down the coast, and it was really the most beautiful site I had ever seen. Well, the train track that hugged the Pacific coastline, anyway. See, at that time I was fascinated by trains, planes, and little else. My only other recollection of that trip was that I apparently, according to the family albums, got in trouble in Knott’s Berry Farm for kicking Snoopy in the ass.

Getting disciplined by Snoopy

As far as cultural differences, well, it’s difficult to really evaluate that when you’re 7. Fortunately, I would have many other times to get back and learn about everything we plan to share with you in this space as we move forward.

1) They are better looking than you: Tall and blond, short and brunette…doesn’t matter. People here are presentable.

2) And yet they are humble about it: Gloating just isn’t a big part of the culture.

3) They are confident and assertive: The concept of I-can-do-anything-if-I-work-for-it is understood here from an early age. But as per #2, they aren’t cocky about it.

4) They ride their bikes everywhere: There are 10,000km of bike lanes here, in a country the size of a thumb tack on the map. This means that basically every single street in the country has bike lanes, on both sides!

5) So they are probably fitter than you: Cycling tends to have that effect.

6) They are more tolerant than you: Nobody cares if you’re gay. Or you smoke marijuana. Or you’re “ethnic”. Just do you.

7) They understand moderation more than you do: People love to drink here. They just don’t drink to the point that they are stumbling all over themselves.

8) They understand other cultures better than you do: You can drive to about five different countries, which speak different languages, in less time than it takes you to share this post with all of your friends.

9) They like flowers: Yes, ladies. Flowers are dirt cheap here. He has no excuse not to show up at your door with a colorful and fragrant bouquet of tulips.

All around the world, this weekend is one of celebration. But while most of the world dances the weekend away for Carnival, the town of Ivrea, at the base of the Alps in northern Italy, has a different method: pelting each other with oranges.

The annual Battle of the Oranges is the largest food fight in Italy–an organized battle of nine groups “competing” with each other by throwing oranges. Joey Phoenix of MyPublicHoliday.com has an excellent writeup of the battle, which I am showcasing below for you to enjoy.

The Battle of the Oranges get serious ’round here!

The Battle of the Oranges, Ivrea, Italy

(by Joey Phoenix; MyPublicHoliday.com)

In February of each year in the small town of Ivrea, in the north of Italy, something extraordinary happens. Corresponding with the end of the beautiful Italian Carnival season, an event occurs that leaves many people cowering in fear and stringing up nets to protect themselves. What is this that makes people so frightened that they hide in their homes, or so overwhelmed by temporary madness that they don masks and head into the fray?

It is a festival known as the Battle of the Oranges.

For weeks before the festival you can see thousands of crates being brought into the town center to be used in the events. Store owners and local businesses begin stringing up nets in order to protect their windows from the wayward throws of participants. Other bystanders purchase red scarves to wear around their head. This head garment is a symbol universally recognized as a protective measure, as the wearer of the red scarf does not wish to be struck by fruit.

Participants organize into a number of groups that war against each other in the town center during the battle. There are nine neighborhoods in Ivrea, and thus the teams are comprised of regions. Each participant pays €120 to enter, and this entry fee goes into the cleanup that occurs each night after the battle, readying it for the onslaught the following day.

For three days everything that moves, except those that are wearing red scarves (but even they are not impervious to the accidentally misguided orange), becomes a target for the Aranceri, or orange throwers. Brave men stand on top of carts, the less intrepid few duck behind them. But for this short period of time, the town center is a sea of orange as flying spherical fruits become projectiles. The event falls on the three days preceding Fat Tuesday. Although it is a fun celebration, it has a reputation for being slightly violent. Many of the group members wear masks to protect their head and faces. Coming out of the battle with a black eye or a broken nose is not an unlikely event.

The Battle of the Oranges has its origins in legend. Supposedly, the daughter of a miller named Violetta was once threatened with rape by a duke who was exercising his, at the time, legal rights over her. It was on Violetta’s wedding night to another man, but instead of surrendering herself to the brutal law, she decapitated the duke. Afterwards, the people, taking her defiance as a revolutionary symbol, charged the castle and established their liberation from their cruel overlords.

Each year, a young woman is elected to play the part of Violetta, and the people commemorate their freedom from the tyrants by becoming the Aranceri. These “orange handlers” are separated into two groups. The first of which become the “tyrants”, and stand in carts. The other half remain on foot, symbolizing the “revolutionaries.” The oranges are the weapons thrown back and forth. No one is quite certain as to where the usage of the orange originated, because they are not even grown indigenously. Some sources declare that the orange is meant to represent the decapitated head of the duke, or his removed testicles. But no one is quite certain. The original plant life thrown at tyrants were beans, as the poor serfs would throw them back at the lords who had given them the paltry vegetables.

Although spectators are not allowed to take part in the festivities, anyone from anywhere in the world can participate in the Battle of the Oranges as long as they pay the entry fee and aren’t afraid to get nailed by a few oranges. So, if you’re interested in the commemoration of a people declaring freedom, and the rising up of citizens against their cruel governments, then enter the Battaglia delle Arance. It is one of the only places in the world where you will have a legal right to throw large spherical fruits with astounding speed at perfect strangers. It’s not only legal, it’s encouraged.

In Ivrea, during the Battle of the Oranges, people completely lose themselves. It is a festival  that’s both dangerous and exciting – and everybody in the town comes out to watch.

I was at the airport, waiting for boarding. I sat beside a young woman from the Philippines who was working as a house maid for an Emirati family in Dubai. She was on her way home—for good—because she refused her boss’ request to drive the family around Dubai. She did not have a license to do so, and did not feel safe doing so, but her boss didn’t care. He insisted, telling her not to worry about her (lack of) a license.

Knowing that she would be in serious trouble if caught driving without a license, the woman declined, to be greeted the following day with news that she was being taken back to the placement agency. Without anyone hearing her side of the story, she was sent directly to the airport, with a police escort, and her working visa was canceled. She was not paid her salary for the last month, not given any cash for things like food during her journey home, and wasn’t even given her luggage. Her boss also confiscated her cell phone, so as to wipe the record of any contacts the woman had in the Middle East. She was literally thrown out of Dubai with only the clothes on her back, all for refusing to drive without a license.

Nobody can say they’ve truly experienced England until they’ve visited a local pub. With catchy names like Firkin & Fox or The Little Driver, you’re bound to be enchanted with the elaborate décor, quirky menu and the general way they operate.

First, there is rarely waiter service. While people order drinks at the bar in most of the world, here in England you also will request a menu and place your food order at the bar, and pay up front. You’re handed a number, and minutes later your entrees are brought straight out to your table. No tipping necessary.

Secondly, you may be surprised to see not only beer, but even wine on tap. At least in some places.

Next, you have to get with the lingo. Weekends often feature a Roast, which is (as you may guess) some massive portion of roasted meet only available on those days. “Bangers and Mash” means simply sausage with mashed potatoes. “Bubble and Squeak” is basically the veggies that happen to be leftover from the weekend Roast, and “Pudding” can stand for just about anything that they couldn’t come up with a more fitting name for (so don’t be alarmed if what is called pudding is actually more like bread).

Finally, perhaps the most surprising thing about British Pub food is the cost. In America, fast food tends to be the cheapest option if you’re looking to eat on a budget. In the UK, however, it is common to find pub specials with two meals for £8 (or thereabouts), which include a drink (maybe it will be £10 with alcoholic drinks). It’s also regular to see deals like “burger and a pint” for £4 or £5. In comparison, you’ll likely pay more eating at Burger King, making pub food all the more essential to daily life here.

Copenhagen’s own Little Mermaid

It is hard to believe that of all Denmark is known for and renowned for around the world, one of its most famous associations is with a bronze statue just over one meter tall. Yet The Little Mermaid statue, based on the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, has become synonymous with Copenhagen in the 100 years since it was first constructed in 1913.

The statue rests on a rock a few meters into Copenhagen’s harbour, just off the picturesque Langelinie Promenade. First unveiled on August 23, 1913, there it has remained with the exception of a six-month period in 2010, when the Copenhagen City Council decided (quizzically) to move the statue to Danish Pavilion at Expo 2010 in Shanghai. It was originally commissioned by Carl Jacobsen (son of the founder of Carlsberg), who was fascinated by a ballet about The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen’s Royal Theatre.  Edvard Eriksen was the sculptor, with Prima ballerina Ellen Price modeling for hi. But when she would not agree to model nude, his wife Eline stepped in.

The statue has become a mecca of sorts for political activists and vandals, prompting the city to consider moving it further into the harbour. We have compiled a list of the most memorable happenings involving The Little Mermaid over the past half-century:

• April 24, 1964:  The Mermaid’s head is sawn off and stolen by politically-oriented activists of the Situationist movement. It was never recovered, and a  new head was produced.

• July 22, 1984:  The statue’s right arm is sawn off, and returned two days later by two men.

• August 5, 1990:  Another attempt is made to saw off the head, unsuccessfully. An 18cm cut is left in the neck.

• January 6, 1998:  The statue is again decapitated, with the head being returned anonymously to a local television station and re-attached on February 4^th.

• September 10, 2003:  The statue is knocked off its base with explosives, and is later recovered in the harbour with holes in the Mermaid’s knee and wrist.

• December 16, 2004:  The Mermaid is dressed in a burqa as a statement against Turkey joining the European Union.

• March 8, 2006:  A dildo is attached to the Mermaid’s hand, green paint is dumped all over it, and the words “March 8” are written on her. March 8^th is International Women’s Day.

• May 20, 2007:  She is again draped in a Muslim dress and head scarf.

Which do you think is most creative?

Brazilian singer Kelly Key leading some Carnival festivities

Easily the most anticipated holiday of the year in Brasil, this weekend’s event basically shuts down the country (with the exception of shopping, carnival workers and tourism industries, as nearly 70% of the country’s visitors come this week). In Rio de Janeiro alone, nearly five million people will participate, including nearly 500,000 from abroad.

While the celebration before Lent is celebrated around the world, nobody does it quite like Brasil. Every major city will host massive parades led by samba schools—dance groups that spend the entire year practicing to compete against one another during Carnival—which are televised and watched by anyone who isn’t there. Smaller cities have their own parades in which anyone can participate, basically turning the entire town into a marching party. Everywhere you look, trios elétricos (trucks equipped with deafening sound systems that drive around blaring samba music) will be driving around, followed by a contingent of people dancing instinctively to the rhythms as if compelled by nature. People sing, people dance, people wear costumes, and people drink. Indeed, it is estimated that this weekend alone will account for nearly 80% of the country’s beer consumption for the entire year.

While the style of celebration varies place to place, the epic nature of each city’s celebration is consistent. In the Southeast (most notably Rio), the festivities are dominated by traditional forms of samba—the enredo, the embalo, the bloco and the marchinha. In the Northeast (most notably Bahia), people enjoy more Afro-Caribbean influenced styles: the frevo, the maracatu, samba-reggae and Axé music.

The thought of an entire nation dancing for an entire weekend is probably unfathomable to most, but once you’ve experienced a Brazilian Carnival, that view may chance. So if the thought of it intrigues you, grab your dancing shoes and let’s go!

In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up next week, I thought we would address the concept of chivalry and dating in Korea. Korean men, especially younger ones, deservedly or not, have a reputation around the world as romantics. Early on in relationships, they tend to shower their girlfriend with affection, in hopes of securing a long-term relationship.

A significant concept in Korean relationships is that of 100 days. After a child is born, families have a celebration on their 100^th day, giving thanks to Samshin (the birth goddess), for helping the mother and child through their most delicate time.

The 100-day mark has a similar importance for couples, who often celebrate this occasion with gifts. Popularized by Korean dramas which seem to significantly impact outsiders’ views of Korean men and romance, it is an opportunity to exchange gifts, and the first time at which it would be considered appropriate for the guy to express his love for the girl. Also, it has become a popular trend for couples to celebrate this day by dressing exactly alike—that’s right, shoes, pants, shirt, etc.

However, while during this 100 day period it is likely to see the guy showering every possible bit of affection onto his new girlfriend, it isn’t likely that this treatment continues far beyond that. Korea is still a male-dominated society, and traditional gender roles are still alive and well. So once a couple is established, it is generally expected that the woman serves the man by cooking, cleaning, etc. You won’t often see an elderly Korean man open the car door for his significant other.

So ladies, next time you are walking in Korea and see a guy carrying his girlfriend’s purse (yes, it is quite a normal sight to see a grown man prancing around with a Louis Vuitton bag on his arm), you should probably consider that they are likely still in their 100-day period before your heart melts into the pavement.

Definitely signs of a first-100 day couple: dressed alike, guy carrying designer purse.

Thailand’s association with the sex trade is well documented: it has been estimated that 10 percent of tourist dollars spent in the country support this. It is also well known that transvestites are common here—it became international news when a school in Northeast Thailand installed a bathroom for transgender students, of which it estimated 200 of its 2,600 students were.

While prostitution used to be (and still is) solicited on the streets of Bangkok, the digital era has allowed these connections to happen virtually as well. Visitors to Thailand often arrange escapades with escorts before they arrive, or in some cases, just arrange to marry their “mail order bride” and come to swoop her away. I find these men both pretty much disgusting and pretty easy to spot in the Suvarnabhumi Airport immigration hall—based strictly on appearance and the look on their faces.

But I digress, this post is supposed to be funny. See, after you get through that immigration line and walk into the arrivals hall, you may have to pick your jaw up off the floor at the sight of the beautiful women waiting there. In many cases, these women are dressed up as if heading to a club—heavy makeup, tall stilettos, tight dresses—and waiting for their special (mostly pre-arranged) boo to walk through those doors.

The question I’ve always had is, how many of these were actually born as women? And how many of the guys who fly 6,000 miles to see them ever find out—or care?

Now that I’ve been through Suvarnabhumi several times, I believe I have discovered a little trick to be able to tell. See, most Thai women are fairly petite—this is not the Netherlands and there aren’t too many women approaching 6 feet, or 2 meters, here. Also, most petite women also have petite feet, and this is where I scratch my head a bit.

See, the “women” who appear to be most done up, dressed sexiest and, quite frankly, the most strikingly beautiful—they are the most likely to have once been men. Look down at the feet, and if the whole package says “woman” and then the shoes are size 44, you may want to think twice. Unless, of course, that’s your thing.

Bangkok Airport–Full of Smiles

The walk to BKK Arrivals…the last steps before a surprise?

Scene of some interesting exchanges

In perfect timing in light of our recent post on McDonald’s first foray into France over 30 years ago, the company this month announced the introduction of a new addition to their menu in France: The McBaguette. The sandwich features a shorter version of the traditional french baguette with ham, cheese and potato topped with lettuce and mayonnaise. If you’re feeling a bit more risque, you can go for the chicken & pepper or spicy beef alternatives.

Ironically, the McBaguette represents McDonald’s push to capitalize on France’s economic slump and 13-year-high unemployment rate. With times being tight, the proud French may be much more likely to eschew their cafe culture and embrace the cheapest meal they can find. Perhaps a 4.50-Euro McBaguette?

The newest addition to McDonald’s France lineup