One of the joys of spending time in France, and indeed one of the very staples of French culture, is to spend your afternoons sitting in a café, sipping on a coffee, in the company of friends or at least a good book. If you want the full experience, add a semi-rude waiter to that equation.

You see, as charming as its cafes are, and as much of a premium as French culture places on gastronomy, service is not typically considered one of its strong points. If you know this going in, you can actually find the lack of service charming.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your experience:

1. If you’re on a tight schedule, take your drink to go:  Dining in French cafes or restaurants can be painfully slow at times. Don’t complain, just expect it and look at it as if you’re sitting in a theatre people watching.
2. Don’t order café au lait:  You want to impress the waiter with your knowledge of French, but in this country, that drink is enjoyed in the morning, at home, from a bowl. You’re probably thinking of a café crème instead.
3. Say your s’il vous plaits:   Manners are a must in France. Whatever you order, follow it with s’il vous plait.
4. Don’t talk back:  If you’re asked “how was it”, simply reply “tres bien”. If you didn’t like it, he doesn’t care, and surely isn’t going to do anything about it.
5. Keep the tip:  Part of the reason French waiters don’t have to be polite is that they aren’t dependent on tips. If you do get lucky and have a pleasant server, rounding up to the nearest euro or leaving a few euros on the table is more than enough reward.
6. Use all your senses:  Make sure to enjoy all of the sights, sounds and smells from the world surrounding you!

Traditional mate gourd

So you finally made it to Buenos Aires, and you want to fit in among us, huh? While you may have brushed up on your wine tasting, cuts of beef and a few Spanish phrases, what you really need to learn is what mate is, and how to drink it!

See, while we definitely produce plenty of wine, this is what we really drink on a daily basis. I guess you can say it’s like tea, since it’s made from Yerba Mate tree leaves. But we like to think of it as something special, and our very own (although of course one may debate that its origins stem from Paraguay or Uruguay as well, but we’ll never agree to such nonsense).

A little bit of mate in your everyday diet will wake you up, lessen your appetite a bit (which is a good thing considering the copious amounts of red meat cheaply available here), and the doctors even say it is good for your blood pressure, immune system and pretty much every other part of your body.

Ready to join us?

Seven Dont’s of Drinking Mate

1. Don’t be Selfish: Sure, we all crave our mate in a pinch when we’re looking for some energy to get moving. But mate is really about sharing time with those we love to be around. We may even argue that the health benefits of some healthy camaraderie and conversation are just as real as whatever those doctors say mate helps with.

2. Don’t be Polite: Kidding, of course! But really, while your inclination may be to thank the server upon receiving your fill, in our culture, saying “gracias” means that you will be having your last pour of the session. So make sure you don’t thank the server until you’re ready to check out.

3. Don’t Touch the Straw: As you can see in the picture, mate is served with a straw-like device called a bombilla. Since the server is responsible for the flavor of the mate and will deliver it to the best of his or her ability, you may be offending someone by messing with it.

4. Don’t Ask for Sugar: While some parts of South America serve their mate with sugar (“dulce”), you probably don’t want to ask unless it’s offered. If you find the mate bitter at first, it will become a bit more mild as it is passed around. Hang in there.

5. Don’t be Reckless: You should be able to feel how hot the gourd is before you drink it. Just make sure to be cautious at first, as it may be scorching hot. Drink with caution!

6. Don’t Jump Right In: If you want to become a real mate drinker and buy your own gourd, don’t drink from it immediately. The first time you use yours, fill it will yerba leaves and pour in hot water. Leave it for a day, then rinse it out and you should be good to go.

7. Don’t Clean It with Soap: And for goodness’ sake, never use soap to clean your gourd! You’ll forever ruin the flavor. Unless you plan on spitting up all over it (which you shouldn’t), just rinse after each use and have another round!

Take a walk around any big city, London to New York to Narnia, and you’ll see that street food is all the rage these days. Never mind the fact that people around the world have been eating out of carts for centuries; when white people in places like Austin start to take note of its “charm” and willingly fork over $10 for a taco, you know street food has arrived. Sadly, they can try every one of those $10-a-plate carts in every city in America, and they’ll never find anything as good as what can be had for a tiny fraction of that price on the streets of Bangkok.

Thailand is notorious for street food, as it suits the local culture in so many ways. First, Thai people generally don’t eat three square meals a day, instead preferring to have many more small meals. Second, these are a social people, generally preferring to meet outside rather than staying in the home. And finally, Thais are sticklers for cleanliness—obviously an important factor when eating a few meters away from speeding motorcycles and trucks.

Furthermore, you can find just about anything on the streets here, though there’s a good bet that it will have undertones of fish sauce and red chilies. Given the international nature of Thailand and its cuisines, the mixture of culinary traditions from throughout Asia and even the Middle East leaves room for plenty of creative concoctions.

While small dishes rule the roost, my personal favorites are larger meals, often cooked up on the sidewalks of regular restaurants after they are closed for business for the day. Picture anything you’ve ever ordered at your local Thai restaurant (except for pad thai, which of course seems targeted more towards unsuspecting white people), and it is available here in abundance, with only fresh, local ingredients, for about $2 USD.

Street food here is neither boutique-trendy nor low-quality. It’s just a normal part of the local food culture, and you’re stomach will probably be best suited here if you never set food inside an actual restaurant.

Before you even finish reading this post, chances are your friends in Spain are getting ready to eat—again. See, the Spanish don’t believe in the three square meals a day traditionally enjoyed by much of humanity. Here, it’s actually more like six. But before you worry about heart attacks and blood clotting that this sort of gluttony must surely lead to, fear not—the meals are small, and people here tend to enjoy healthy lifestyles full of walking and exercise.

So without further adieu, let’s introduce you to the meals enjoyed in Spain throughout the day—a far more intricate exercise than your typical breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Timetable of Meals in Spain

8:00am:  El Desayuno

A small meal typically eaten at home consisting of coffee and some bread or pastry—perhaps churros (think stick-like Spanish donut) or porras (similar to churros but slightly thicker).

El Desayuno: churros and a cup of hot chocolate (or coffee)

11:00am:  Tapas

Small plates eaten between breakfast and lunch, typically at a local bar, each of which serves its own specialty. Hot or cold, the selection of tapas varies greatly by region, and even by restaurant, but some of the most common are the Tortilla Espanola (Spanish potato omelet), Patatas Bravas (potatoes with spicy tomato sauce), or Gambas al Ajillo (shrimp cooked in garlic).

A selection of tapas available in a Madrid restaurant

A close-up of a tortilla espanola…

2:00pm:  La Comida

The largest and most important meal of the day, this historically consists of several courses and is enjoyed slowly, with most Spanish people taking a 2-3 hour siesta (break) from their jobs or schools between about 2:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon. This tradition is more confined to rural areas now, as most Spanish businesses today offer the standard 1-hour lunch break, which is still enough to feature a large meal with a soup, a protein, salad, dessert and a coffee.

Lunch in Madrid

A fine Valencian paella

5:30pm:  La Merienda

This is a small snack between lunch and dinner, usually consisting of a piece of bread with some lunch meat or chocolate on top.

A typical Merienda

9:00pm:  La Cena

Dinner for Spaniards consists of similar meals that may be enjoyed during La Comida, just in smaller quantity—perhaps two courses. Families typically eat around 9pm, but this may be much later in the summer, when it is not uncommon for people to stay up well past midnight.

Dinner selections are similar to lunch, just smaller

Midnight:  Dessert

This is by no means mandatory, but it is typical for people here to enjoy a light snack prior to bed, which often consists of a churro and some hot chocolate (very similar to El Desayuno). You’ll see this sold frequently by street vendors in popular nightlife areas.

I have a theory that as sinful as it may be, food tends to taste better between the hours of midnight and 4am. We’ve all been there—in a group of friends fresh from a bar, whether drunk or sober, taking our seats at the Ihop, Waffle House, Chinese restaurant, Pho place or whatever happens to be open 24 hours in your neck of the woods. Without hesitation, we order the greasiest, heartiest selection on offer, and end our night fat and happy in the comfort of our own bed.

In Canada—and Quebec in particular—that overnight sensation is poutine. Don’t get me wrong—the French fries-covered-in-gravy-and-curd-cheese concoction is available any time of day, or so I’m told. But this is a food meant to be eaten in the throes of the night, with your tank on “empty”, and perhaps even slightly buzzed.

Traditional poutine in Montreal

While poutine originated in Quebec (it is among the only truly “Canadian” foods), it is now easily found throughout Canada. While it sounds like the most grease bucket of foods, the “foodie” wave of recent years has lent itself to poutine as well. Today, you can occasionally find the dish covered with various meats, lobster, crab, shrimp and even caviar or truffles.

I recommend keeping it simple, however. Something about French fries smothered in gravy and grease and cheese screams low class, and I’d argue this national treasure is best enjoyed exactly that way.

One of the great late night spots in Montreal, on Avenue du Mont-Royal

Some local food choices…

I’ve always thought Australians sucked….and guess what I saw as verification on the bus to Melbourne Airport the other day? Why, you guessed it!  The Biggest Lollie Shop in the World!  (Yes, they call them “lollies” and no, I don’t actually think Australians suck—it was a joke, folks!).

This is surely one of the more unique shops I’ve ever tripped across, though…and a wonderful reason to visit the great, quirky, fun city of  Melbourne! (Actually, it’s located in the suburb of Tullamarine, but who’s counting?)

The shop itself, as you may be able to imagine, is basically a mecca of all types of candy, featuring a huge variety of lollies, chocolates, and other sugary sensations. A full kilo of lollies will set you back about $5 AUD, at least if you’re willing to settle for the house brand. Don’t forget to check out the chocolate covered fruits and candies, as well as the ample selection of party favors!

If you’ve ever been to Turkey during Christmas season, it’s more than likely that you’ve enjoyed the very same libations that were enjoyed on Noah’s Ark. A symbol of peace and love, served by families to friends and loved ones during the holidays, aşure is a pudding containing multiple and varying ingredients. Known as Noah’s Pudding, it is believed to have been the last meal served on Noah’s Ark, in celebration as the great flood subsided.

You probably haven’t seen or tasted anything like this before, but don’t worry too much about what’s inside—it’s tradition! In case you’re curious, you’re likely to find a mix of rice, rosewater, walnuts, white beans, barley, chickpeas, pomegranate seeds, and other creative ingredients mixed together with lots of cinnamon. Because food was scarce on Noah’s Ark, the dish originated when Noah used the various ingredients that had been left over from previous meals to make his version of aşure.

Now it is a Christmastime staple in Turkey, and best enjoyed slowly, in the presence of great company. So as you make your rounds this Christmas, don’t expect to get in and get out quickly—allow time and take yourself back to the days of Noah!